right now it is sunday december 6 2008, and i am 350.00 dollars short to pay my rent, 35.00 extra for my electric, and i live in fairbanks alaska where it is below zero outside, i am afraid my landlord is going to kick me out tomorrow, the only place i will have to live is my 1985 subaru station wagon which is need of repair AND gas!! my fiance was working, but got laid of on the fith of dec, no christmas bonus either!! i have been looking for work for months, i never get interviews, which i am taking pretty hard, it usually makes me so depressed looking for work, but this seems to be the lowest i have ever been in my 42 years of life, i also have 2 beautiful grandaughters ages 6 and 4 (kindra layne 6) kiaha mae 4 ) that i have not seen or talked to since august 2005, their mother took them from alaska, and is letting another man raise them as his own kids, he has 4 of his own, and they are expecting twins, she will not let us talk to them or see them, because she said it will confuse them, that means she is telling them we no longer exsist, my heart has been broken for a long time over this, i can not afford an attorney to get custody of them, or at least get them back into alaska, i dont want to die before they come home if they ever come home, we have fought for years trying to get someone to help, someone to listen, not even dear abby would print our letter, no courts will listen, no cops, i think this is an injustice, ak law states" if a parent or adlitem requests visitation, a hearing will be ordered". i was thinking of creating a web site to raise attorney fees, then i foud Aidpage, i hope i get some kind of response, i was telling my nephew that mabey i relly dont exist, mabey i am in a paraell universe,because no one will listen, nobody cares, on my space, the person i want to meet is someone who can help bring the girls home, they deserve a mom and a dad, thier dad misses them very much, we are just tired of the system here in alaska, i am just so tired of my life being full of misery and what seems like bad luck, no food, no money, no christmas, and no kindra and kiaha, we are supposed to go to richs moms for christmas, but no longer want to because we both think it is embarassing that we can not buy presents for anyone. we spent thanksgiving there, and had not been able to afford to bring anything, his mom wont care, but we do, nobody we know is able to help us financally, my family can only support them selves, we have no credit, no credit cards, everywhere i look for help on the internet that is supposed to be free want some kind of money, this is the first place i have been able to talk openly without someone wanting money that i dont have, just being able to do this is making me cry while i am typing, there just maybe someone out there who cares, i hope everyone has a merry christmas, i just need help with my rent,and christmas, and this computer is from a rent to own store(aarons) i may have to give it back on the 15, because i dont have the 130.00 dollar payment,( i dont want to though) i almost forgot that if i do not have 138.00 dollars for my phone bill monday it may get shut off, A C S, is getting tired of my excuses, it will be hard to get a job without a phone, we have no cell phone either. if anyone can help in any way or has any advice my address is K.M. VanReenan P.O. Box 73934 Fairbanks, Alaska 99707-3934. happy holidays to all and thank you for listening.
